Waking up at 7am on Saturday Morning, I scrambled to throw my darks & whites into my NorthFace Bag, and scurried to grab 2 pairs of socks (just in case). I left my house just on time, only to rush back 5 minutes later to grab my tumblr bottle from the fridge.
I miss you.
I used to play Ultimate Frisbee, and I knew at some point, I was obsessed. Everyday became another day for frisbee talk – training programmes, throws, gym, meeting team-mates, talking about school… my routines eventually became revolved around the world of chasing plastic.
And surprisingly, I wasn’t the only one into this addictive sport.
“What’s so fun about it?” they ask. “Nobody even plays it much right? Since you’re so tall, why don’t you try out for basketball, or netball?”
Well, apart from being a total clown in the above sports, I loved the feeling of being Ultimate. You know what I mean? It’s…
- The random jios to throw anywhere, anytime.
- The day after a competition and your social media is flooded with amazing photos.
- The crazy hype before a tournament.
- The x number of iced drinks after training.
- The horrible suicides and fartlegs.
- The 10,000 friends you’ll eventually make since it’s the same faces every single competition.
Holding the disc was a love so raw, and indescribable that Ultimate Frisbee wasn’t just about becoming browner every Saturday. It became an identity I was darn proud of. I would sign up for every single tournament, spend the entire weekend chasing plastic, and then leave Sunday with strong pangs of post-tournament withdrawals.
I’ve been part of amazing teams, where my team mates fought hard, flew high, and saved everyone’s asses until we reached the podium. Savouring the moment together is a feeling I’ll never forget.
Then, the days came where injuries began to plague my body – the mini-scabs all over my knees and elbows, the overly tight glutes and the annoying dull ache on my back. Waking up on some days truly felt like a chore.
Amongst all these, the champion still goes to the disastrously painful knots on my shoulders. They never ever ever ever ever disappear, I swear! #ultimatefrisbeeproblems
As time passed, scar after scar criss-crossed my entire leg, looking like I just fought a battle over the weekend. Then a day was marked when I got my first ankle sprain. And then my first fractured elbow.
And my first ACL tear. It was a sickening crunch and every training began to feel a little less exciting, and a little less like it used to be.
Now, I can’t even remember what it’s like anymore.
I can’t remember the last time I’d wake up and be spammed with notifications of attendance updates, where every single ‘ding‘ was someone else’s yes to trainings.
I can’t understand the terms people scream on the fields, nor do I feel the anxiety when someone drops the disc.
I can’t relate to the frisbee talk, or how teams talk about strategy after strategy on the fields.
So I told myself, since I’m injured, I’ll do what I can for whoever I’m around with. I filmed One Hand Grab Videos, created ridiculous Alliance Instagram stories, and had fun making SMU Ultimate Frisbee videos. It’s definitely refreshing, and new – but it’s also, definitely not the same as before.
There’s been so many friendships made, and so many hours spent; so many double-tap moments, and yet so many regrets. With 6 months past the ACL injury and a half-forgotten feeling for something I used to love, it’s a real dilemma being stuck in the middle of holding back and moving on.
I don’t know how injured people brace themselves to move on, or how they’d overcome their fear of hearing that sick crunch again, and being brought out of the fields in a split second after months of training.
I also don’t know what’s going to happen in the future, but for now, operation, rehab, recovery, and maybe… one day I’ll be back.
Aliens | Disc Knights | AJC | Polar Pirates | SkrubDisc
National Youth 2016 | SMU | Alliance